The Forgotten Carols

A happy Ashleigh on Christmas morning 1988.

Tonight I spent an evening with Michael McLean. Well, me and a couple of thousand other people at The Forgotten Carols. It is interesting to note that this is the 20th anniversary tour of The Forgotten Carols , just like it is Ashleigh's "20th anniversary" this year as well. I share this experience on this blog and not my other, because when I think of Michael McLean's music... I think of Ashleigh.

My first memories of Michael's music are from the early days of Ashleigh's illness. I somehow accumulated a cassette tape of Michael's songs, which I listened to in the car as Ashleigh and I drove to and from radiation therapy on a daily basis. In Ashleigh's final weeks, her home health care nurse loaned me a video tape of Michael performing some of those same songs. I watched that video every day. The final song on that tape is Together Forever during which he asks the audience to think of someone they love who was not with them, and then invites the audience to sing along to the phrase, "... we can be together forever someday..." and then with more conviction, "... we will be together forever someday...". As a young mother whose heart was breaking, and with so much uncertainty ahead of me, I bravely sang along with Michael and his audience as tears rolled down my face. Tonight at the conclusion of The Forgotten Carols, Michael sang Together Forever , and again, invited his audience to think of a loved one who wasn't with them and invited us to sing along. The words, "... we can be together forever someday..." filled the auditorium as did the spirit. My heart was touched and my eyes filled with tears, as I sang those words with conviction, because I know that they are true, "... we will be together forever one day...".

Caitlin's Thoughts

by guest blogger Caitlin Leger

Aren't these sisters beautiful!?! I am grateful to Caitlin for her willingness to share some of her feelings about her sister Ashleigh. Although they never met in this life, they are sisters, just like any other sisters who have had the opportunity to grow up together, and Caitlin and Ashleigh's time will come... I have no doubt. Thanks Caitlin for your willingness to share... I know it wasn't easy.

When my mom first asked me to write a post to go on her Ashleigh blog I was very hesitant. I first of all had not read the blog yet, and secondly felt like there was nothing I could say. I never met Ashleigh on earth and didn’t know what I could write on a post that would be of any benefit for anyone to read on her blog. My mind has however changed since I have finally read the blog. I go to college and felt like I was always busy and didn’t have time to keep up with any blogs, but just a couple days ago I decided I would start reading from the beginning, now every free moment I have, I immediately go to my last spot on the blog and read on. I regrettably decided to even read during a lecture class I was in where we had a guest speaker, and while streams rolled down my face, I just hoped that the speaker was somewhat inspirational, and my classmates may have thought I was touched by her words. I decided that immediately after I read the latest post to start writing this one because I have been so influenced by this blog, and definitely can say I feel closer to my sister than ever. Hearing all of these experiences are very new and eye opening. I have called my mom in tears every day after reading the blog, or sent text messages to her, because I can’t even imagine what a heartache my family must have been through during this time. I of course have grown up knowing I have a sister named Ashleigh who passed away of a brain tumor. I have always grown up knowing exactly who Ashleigh is, and seen pictures, videos, and heard stories now and then about her life and her experiences, but not until this blog have I heard these details which have made me have such a deeper appreciation for my parents and my brothers and all of my family because of the sorrow that they must have gone through seeing their little girl go through all that she went through. I have always felt a little…well for lack of a better term “left out” in my family because of their experiences with Ashleigh. I know that my family all knew Ashleigh and were able to be with her here on earth. I also know they had to have grown closer as they supported each other in getting through her passing away. One day very recently I expressed this feeling of being left out to my mother. She told me with all confidence that she knows that I knew and know Ashleigh too, and that she is my sister and I should always feel close to her. And though I wasn’t there to experience Ashleigh’s passing away, my role in our family is a gift. I know that my family all views me as a gift, and now after understanding that, I realize how important that role really is. I am so grateful that my family has a testimony and knows that we will be with Ashleigh again. I know that my family was able to get through, and move forward, from such a hard and sad experience because they had so much faith, and relied on the Lord. I have also been very impressed with all of my brothers and their wives in teaching their children about their Aunt Ashleigh, and I know they all know her and love her. When I was born, my mom had to go through a very long labor. My parents have always told me that it was so long because I was saying goodbye to my sister in heaven. Knowing that I have a sister waiting for me in heaven has been even more of an incentive and a goal for me to live righteously while on earth so that I know I can be with my sister Ashleigh again someday. I love my sister Ashleigh and I know she loves me. I look forward to the day when I will be able to hug her and tell her how much I love her and missed her.