Why I Am Doing This

It is nearly 3 1/2 years since I joined the world of blogging. It is something that I have enjoyed doing since the beginning. I love to write and to see my results instantly in a finished format... complete with pictures. It has been a fun way for me to document what I do, and also what we do as a family. I have already published one blog book and plan to publish more.

One day, about 3 months into my blogging life, my son called me and told me of a tragic accident that had happened to some friends of friends. He told me that I could connect to their blog through his friends blog, so I did. I became riveted to the story of the Jackson family and their little daughter Lucy, who choked on a piece of apple and passed away a few days later.

It's amazing how fast the "family tree" of blogging can grow. You read someones blog, you read the comments people leave, you click on the name of the person who left the comment, and suddenly you're reading their blog... it can go on, and on, and on. In just a short matter of time I had found several blogs written by parents whose children had died. I'll be honest... I was shocked at how much heartbreak is going on all around us.

But for some reason I was drawn to these stories. As I read, I thought to myself, would I have liked to have had an outlet such as blogging when I was going through the experience of losing a child? I think I would have. Through my reading I also experienced regret. Regret that I hadn't faithfully written a journal during that time. But my goodness, for over a year I was living life on a day to day basis, sometimes minute to minute, and at times just trying to endure and endure it well. Journaling probably crossed my mind... and went right on by.

During the last several weeks of Ashleigh's life, realizing that I hadn't been good at documenting, I created a video journal. The entire video is of Ashleigh lying on her bed, being fed, being read to, being loved and served by family and friends. During the taping I was sitting off camera (I didn't want to be seen) sharing everything that I could think of about the year and Ashleigh. Now, twenty years after I started that video journal, I am not sure that I've ever watched it in its entirety. My purpose at the time was to do it for my sons, so that they wouldn't forget. So that they would see how they served their sister. I'm sure I will be watching the video as I write this blog.

I don't follow all the blogs I mentioned previously. Time and blog stalking are two words that don't really compliment each other. However, I do keep up with the Jackson family blog (I've actually met them).

So long story short (and who has ever known me to tell a short story?), after much contemplation I came to the decision to tell Ashleigh's and our story. It will not be in chronological order... but I will write as the memories flood into my mind. It will become a blog book that I hope will be read in my family for generations to come. Because she was here... and I don't ever want her to be forgotten.