This picture was taken in September 1990 (a year later it was her obituary picture); at the time Ashleigh was about half-way through her radiation therapy treatments. Doesn't she look healthy? You can tell that her left eye is crossed, but... the way she is facing does not make it look obvious. "Osh Kosh B'Gosh" was my favorite brand of clothing to dress her in, she used to call it "ko-kosh". I made the "pretty" in her hair out of balloons. I can still remember this day... we had her picture taken at JCP, then we went to Melinda Welch's home for recipe club.
I am not a big Facebook person (other than posting my blog updates), but one of the things I do like about Facebook is the old friends I have come in contact with. A couple of years ago I found a friend from Jr. High, in fact... she was my next door neighbor 7-9 grades. The last time I saw her was at her wedding in 1977. We visited back and forth (via Facebook) and I found out that she had been divorced for 18 years. I remember calculating the time frame and realizing, that she was probably going through her divorce at the same time I was losing Ashleigh. Does anyone else ever do that? When you hear about milestones, or just experiences in other peoples lives, trace back the years and remember what you were doing then? It puts the whole time-frame-thing into perspective... at least, for me it does.
I am making a request here, and I'd love it if anyone would respond. Here's a couple of ideas: If you knew us in 1990-1991, do you have any memories of Ashleigh? Do you remember how/when you heard about Ashleigh? If you didn't know us in 1990-1991, do you remember what was going on in your life during that time? I would also love to hear any memories my boys have, if they are willing to share. This blog is being made into a book, so memories/thoughts would be great! You can leave them here on this post or any other. I would really love to know who's out there... don't be shy :-)
I will be posting part 2 of "The "Worst" Day of the Rest of my Life" in a day or two.
8 comments:
Sorry this is nothing to do with Ashleigh. But just tonight at dinner,we were talking about how hot it has been and how long it will last, Mike was telling the kids (and me) that he remembers in September 1990 that it was really warm all the way through the month. Stands out to him, because it was his very first semester of college. Me, I was starting my junior year in high school.
And yes-I do the thing you asked--tracing back time periods. In fact every time they show the almanac on the weather I try to remember exactly what I was doing that month.
Okay-this is a way long comment and nothing to do about what you asked. Sorry. I know you love me nonetheless.
Yes, I do love you, and it is what I asked... remember, I asked if anyone remembered what they were doing in 1990-1991 I'd love to hear it. When I was writing the post and wondering if anyone else traces time like I do, I thought, "I'll bet Tiffany does." :-)
I don't have a lot of clear memories of Ashleigh, since I was very young myself. I remember being at the beach together, I remember going to your house and seeing Ashleigh hooked up to tubes which my mom explained were helping her to eat. I was kind of afraid and her big brother Andy basically told me to get over it and go see her, so I did.I think that was one of the last times we were together. I believe his exact words were "don't have a cow..." which was very 1990s :) I remember Ashleigh dancing to Poor Unfortunate Souls on the stairs of my parents apartment and everyone cracking up. My mom always tells me about how much I HATED to leave Ashleigh after playing together. I actually remember being told when she passed away. I didn't know how to react because my parents were really upset. I was outside on the curb.
I remember the Christmas that Granma and Granpa opened the picture that you had made of your family with Ashleigh looking on. It was a pretty spiritual moment and it has stayed in my memory. Each time I see that picture at their house I'm reminded of Granma's face and the feeling in the room.
One of the more recent memories however, was Granma and Granpa's 50th anniversary when they played the video of their life together. The part that played showing Ashleigh and Christopher stood out to everybody and I realized how much it affected each member of our family, even at my very young age and my very few memories I think it brought everyone closer together as we realized how precious each one of us is to one another and how brief our life is on earth, but at the same time how eternal our family ties are.
What a beautiful girl Ashleigh was. I have so many memories of that time, a lot of memories. What a time. So hard to witness. So hard to see my little niece in that condition. So hard to see my sister and her husband helpless to stop it, yet inspired by their faith and positive attitudes. As I said there are a lot of memories, but one that comes to mind for some reason is Ashleigh being at the hospital when her cousin Tara was born, so happy to see this baby girl. We have the video of that morning and it warms our hearts whenever we watch it; not just because of the joy of Tara's birth but also the joy of seeing beautiful, happy little Ashleigh. Less than a year later Ashleigh was gone. That was almost 21 years ago. Hard to believe. That baby girl Tara was raised knowing she has a cousin named Ashleigh and as a young adult now is touched and delighted to know that she was Ashleigh's baby.
I remember that G'pa, Andy and I were in Britain after much debate about going with Ashleigh's condition. I think we called just about every day to check on her. When we got home although she was quite sick she still was able to smile at us because we were HOME and she was glad to see us.
I just watched The Little Mermaid yesterday. That movie transports me back in time more than any other.
I remember going to Swiss Days together right before Labor Day in 1991. We loaded up our kids and Ashleigh's "stroller". She loved having all the kids want to push her around. As I recall, we left the majority of the group on the bleachers while we took Ashleigh with us to do something. (Probably get food for the hungry boys. My memory is not what it used to be, but I'm sure you will remember what we did.) When we got back Michael had been stung by a bee. On the way home we stopped at Leger's in Park City to get some ice for him. I still smile when I think about that day... bee sting and all. We had gotten out and done something normal in the midst of anything but normal!
I'm not sure if this will show as a comment from Melissa because I am logged into her computer, but this comment is from Margie. I read this post about a week ago, but I haven't had the time to sit down and write my memories. However, it has given me time to think and reflect upon Ashleigh and how she has touched my life and helped me to learn much about life!
First of all I remember what a beautiful baby Ashleigh was!! She had such beautiful skin and beautiful eyes. I remember going to Yellowstone when she was just a tiny baby. I loved holding her and watching the love that you had for her too. I remember being so happy for you that you had a girl! You always took such care to make sure Ashleigh looked like a girl in her beautiful dresses, bows, clothes etc...
I remember how much Melissa loved coming to your house and how much fun she had watching "Little Mermaid" with Ashleigh. I think Ashleigh got a kick out of Melissa as she was just that much older and she seemed to be entertained by watching Melissa. I have often thought how Caitlin is more like Melissa and Ashleigh was more like Megan. Have you ever thought that? I told this to Megan recently and she said she never knew that.
Ashleigh seemed to smile a lot. She grew into a very happy and content little girl.
I do remember our trip to the beach house (1991) when Ashleigh was sick and when we first got there she was all potty trained and by the time we left she was back in diapers. I was stunned to see the rapid change.
A huge memory and example that I will always remember as long as I live was when you came over to our house the day after Ashleigh died. As you know, Ashleigh died the day we brought Megan home from the hospital. I was so full of such extremes in emotion. I remember you calling and asking if you could come over to our home. It was during the day and my mom was there taking care of me. I couldn't believe you had come to see me and comfort me when you were the one that had lost your daughter. You told us that you were on your way to buy ballet slippers because you had always dreamed about having Ashleigh take ballet and you were going to buy her a pair of ballet slippers to be buried in. I remember thinking how even before Ashleigh was born and throughout her life and even in death you had thought of every detail!! Even doing this blog you continue to carry on the details of her life. I love both you and Mike. Your example has stayed with me. I remember thinking after Ashleigh passed away that I would never see you smile again. However, you both have so valiantly carried on because you know you are a forever family!! I have been inspired by you and your example.
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