December 12, 2011Another Christmas season has come and gone; and just like that... it's almost the middle of January. I think that many of us share similar traditions during the holidays; work parties, church parties, family parties, school concerts, visits with Santa at the mall, "The Nutcracker" ballet, the lights at Temple Square. We missed Temple Square this year; but, I finally got to go to "The Forgotten Carols" which I hope is a new tradition.
Although many families have similar traditions, we have a tradition that I'm sure few of our acquaintances share... that is our Christmas visit to the cemetery to place wreathes at the graves of Ashleigh and Christopher. This always takes place on December the twelfth, because that is the anniversary of Christopher's death.
Usually it is Mike and I and my parents who make this Christmas visit (Christopher's parents; Alan and Marivic, live in California). For Michael and I, this was our twenty-first Christmas visit to the cemetery. Most years the cemetery is deep with snow, and we have to be very careful as we walk up hill to the graves so that we don't slip and fall (especially Dad and Mom). When there is snow we have to dig to uncover our two markers. This is always done by my Dad and Mike, who then situate the wreath stands (after Mike confirms with me, "Christopher's wreath is gold and Ashleigh's red?"} and secure them into the ground; which is difficult because the ground is frozen, and because the snow is so deep, we aren't sure if the stands are in the ground or just in the snow. This year there was no snow so it was an easy task to stick the wreath stands right into the ground where we were confident they would remain until wreath retrieval. Wreath retrieval is usually up to me. I always go before New Years, because if I don't, we run the risk of the wreathes being removed by the cemetery people (that happened one year).
Our cemetery visits vary each year. Sometimes we are quick, and other times we spend a little more time; sharing some tender moments, sometimes a prayer together, sometimes a tear or two. It is truly a sacred spot. It has been dedicated through the power of the priesthood. On the morning of the resurrection, this is where I will greet my daughter. Can you imagine how that is going to be?
December 12, 2009So, what exactly does this Christmas wreath mean to me? To me it is a representation of two gifts. The first gift... a visual acknowledgement that she is remembered by us. I can't buy her dolls or dresses anymore, nor can I fill her stocking, all I can do is place this wreath at her grave to show whomever passes by, that the little girl who is buried there is loved. The second gift... it isn't something anyone can see as they pass by her grave. It is simply... me. It is my renewed commitment to be a better person; to try harder to be the person I am supposed to be. To be kinder, more forgiving, to have more patience, to show more tolerance, to be less selfish, to murmer less, to serve more, to sum it up... to be more Christlike. That is my gift to her, so that on that glorious morning I can take her by the hand and say, "let's go home." And as Ashleigh herself said, "Oh... what a day." It truly will be.
